Survival is exactly how Myung describes much of his life. In his first year of high school, he began experiencing a severe bipolar disorder and long bouts of depression that led to a hospitalization. “I felt like my brain was breaking down piece by piece. In Korean culture, stigma about mental illness is very harsh, and after my psychiatric in-patient treatment, everyone was so ashamed that they didn’t want to have anything to do with me.” His teenage years were plagued with self-loathing and isolation, and he endured verbal and physical abuse from family members and teachers alike.
“We immigrated to the United States in 1981; my father died that year, and even though my mother and brothers were close by, I still had to cope with my psychiatric disability on my own.” Without a support system or family to lean upon, Myung continued to face multiple hospitalizations—the last of which dealt the heaviest blow: “I lost my home. The landlord pushed me out because of my disability and there was nothing I could do. It took me a long time to have the ability to recover.”
Myung connected with Community Access in 1998, enrolling in Howie the Harp, an experience he describes as “the beginning of real healing for me. It was suddenly like a rainbow appeared, and at every step of the way I started discovering a new color—something new about myself. The program really helped me understand how important it for us to be united as one in order to not be against each other. That’s what a rainbow is; all the colors are connected.”
In his job today as counselor and mentor, Myung says he relies on all the skills he learned at Community Access to help the mental health participants he works with. “We talk about open and honest communication, empathy, how we need to be willing to learn from mistakes, and the importance of setting goals.”
For Myung, learning and healing is not just job-related; it’s also a family matter: “I’m closer to my mother, and even my younger brothers respect me now. Most of my life, they were never understanding of my illness, but now I am able to speak candidly about what was happening in my life—my situation and environment. Howie the Harp helped me be able to have these types of conversations. The mental health community so often has no chance at all. I appreciate everything that Community Access has done for me—for helping add color to my life, and courage.”